Beyond the No-Spend: Approaches for Christmas Gifting
We love giving gifts at Christmas. It’s a beautiful tradition that flows straight from the true meaning of the holiday. But this, of course, has nothing to do with all the materialism, over-consumption, and over-spending surrounding the season.
People love to extol the benefits of their approach to Christmas gifts, but what works for one family may not for another. And what you’re comfortable with may differ from your relatives’ preferences. We strive to keep Christmas spending reasonable without being Scrooges. Here are a variety of tactics to consider for reasonable gifting.
1. Secret Santa. I have four siblings, and while growing up, we wanted to give each other gifts but couldn’t afford to buy each sib something good. Early on, we devised the siblings secret Santa (though no one ever kept it a secret). We’ve carried on the tradition until this year, when we opted for an exchange amongst all the adults.
2. Fixmas Christmas. One friend felt their family had enough stuff—and a lot of unfinished projects. He declared a Fixmas Christmas, in which your gift to each person was to fix something that was broken. For his wife, he replaced their broken faucet with a new one they scored for free. Last year we joked about the new muffler for my car being one of my gifts.
3. Secondhand/homemade. For the non-sibs, my family for the past three years has declared a “secondhand Christmas.” Some people opt to give cash or gift cards, but for those not afraid of the thrift store or crafts, we ask for wish lists and shop secondhand. (I am afraid of crafts.) Last year I got my mother a full silverware set at the thrift store. The year before I found her a nice coat there.
4. No-spend. Some people prefer to call a truce and say “we don’t need anything, and we’re not buying gifts this year.” At some point it feels a bit ridiculous to shop for people who already have plenty, so if no one in your family is in need this year, consider a no-spend Christmas.
5. Kids-only. The past two years, Neil & his sibs decided to skip their gift exchange and just do gifts for the kids. I wouldn’t suggest this in my family since we’re the only ones with kids, but they have cousins on Neil’s side and it’s fun for everyone to watch the kids open gifts.
We aim to make Christmas morning magical for our kids, but it doesn’t take a big budget or fancy gifts to do so, especially while they’re young. We budget a certain amount per kid and aren’t afraid to buy used (or even freebies). Books, board games, and small toys or craft supplies are a hit so far. I try to think “winter entertainment” for the long, cold months ahead. Some people set a number of gifts per kids.
6. Common experience. One year Neil’s family called off gifts and we all headed to a cabin in scenic region two hours away. We hiked together, took turns cooking, and played games. It turned out to be more expensive that our usual gift-buying routine, but it was a wonderful time together as a family. Simpler common activities like sledding, going to a restaurant, or ice skating together would also fit the bill.
7. Spouses don’t exchange. I’m not a fan of this for us, but some couples like it. We often save items we’d like to purchase or replenish for our Christmas or birthday wish lists. Neil’s gifts from me this year will replace broken/worn out items of his. I think waiting to receive these as gifts is more exciting than just buying them for yourself. However, for those who would rather make purchases as needed, it may make sense for spouses to skip presents.
8. Donations. We’ve opted to make donations instead of gifts for a number of relatives who have requested it. There were several years when instead of Neil’s siblings’ gift exchange we all donated to a charity.
We’ve gone back and forth over the years, and while it might make things easier to do the exact same thing each year, it’s also nice to be flexible and decide what makes sense for that year’s circumstances. I love the giving aspect of Christmas and never want to declare “no spend Christmas” for all time. We’ll take it one year at a time and enjoy what each season brings.
How does your family approach Christmas gifts?