I’ve been on the struggle bus trying to survive the second half of summer. The big kids are fighting more than ever, more as a pastime than out of malice. The baby is happy but into everything, and needs a lot of attention which previously would have went to older ones. With the structured glories of VBS and Safety Town a fading memory, we need ways to have fun without hemorrhaging money on kids’ outings.
Sure, we could shell out $500 for a pool membership, and sprinkle in amusement parks, ninja warrior gyms, trampoline parks, Chuck E. Cheese, the movies, mini golf, and all sorts of other activities. But with two kids, these things add up, and with a baby, certain outings are impractical. And no amount of money can make summer with 3 kids less exhausting.
Swimming has been one of our main pastimes. We’re not spendy enough for the nearby pool just yet. Instead we opted for a $80 family pass to the local lake. We also received 3 free family passes to the pricey pool, and have generous friends and family who have invited us to swim in their backyard pools as well.
VBS, Safety Town, the library reading program, and the 4th of July parade have all provided prizes such as free kids’ meals and treats, the pool passes, and SkyZone passes. I just love when free fun generates more free fun! And of the course the air conditioned library is itself a wonderful activity.
Swim lessons and soccer mercifully wrapped up by the end of June. Evening activities are not my favorite.
Playgrounds, splash pads, and playing with friends are the other mainstays of our summer days. We also went to a minor league baseball game, hosted a Hawaiian-themed cookout, went to a picnic in the national park, a 4th of July party, our nephew’s grad party, and celebrated our baby’s first birthday. Next up is our son’s birthday. We gave him the choice of a gift or taking a small group of friends to SkyZone. He chose the latter.
We also visited another city for an annual church conference and visited friends. We went to a large science museum with our Science Museum Reciprocal pass which we purchase for $63 annually through the McKinley Presidential Museum. I highly recommend this or a similar pass to all families, as it functions as a reciprocal pass to 250 science centers and 300 history museums across the country. If you can’t purchase it through McKinley, find a museum or science center near yo that offers reciprocity benefits through the Association of Science-Technology Centers (ASTC) and/or the Time Travelers program. We purchase membership through a lower-cost museum; admission to many of the reciprocal attractions would cost more for one day than we pay for the annual pass.
We ran out of energy before making it to the zoo while on our trip, which would have been half-off from our local zoo pass our daughter won from the library last summer. We did visit our zoo a couple times as well. We haven’t even made it to area wading pools, interactive fountains, large playgrounds, or nature centers because we’ve been so busy!
We just returned from a vacation to Michigan, where we rented a house with 3 other families. We visited the beach, saw the dunes, rode bikes, went to a small water park, picked blueberries, and watched the sunset a couple times. Sleeping with the baby in the room was less than ideal; our normally good sleeper kept waking up and wanting us since we were in sight. Our week away felt more like a month, as all the parents there agreed. Reminiscent of Rip van Winkle. But with much less sleep.
We’re planning another small trip before school starts. With the condition that the baby sleeps in a separate room. (Watch, we’ll end up tent camping.)
With two and a half weeks left till school starts, the end is in sight. I honestly can’t imagine only having one child in tow for 7 hours a day, and one that still naps, at that. People ask if I’m emotional about my middle one starting school. Yes. I’m ecstatic. She is so ready and so am I. The baby will probably be a different story.
Until the magic of public education resumes, I’m trying to pace the fun and take a bit of time for myself, reading fiction and exercising at home. Cheap thrills indeed.
How do you get through summer with kids? Does it get any easier when they’re older?
I’ve always grocery shopped with my kids. And they’ve always been pretty good at the store. So I thought nothing of it the first week of summer when the four of us set out to ALDI. While no one was even bad, I wouldn’t recommend it. ALDI is crowded and my kids just don’t know where to put their little bodies now that they are too big for the cart. They were invariably standing right in front of the cart, or hanging off of the side of it (into the other side of the aisle), or pulling on each other, or asking me for random foods every other minute.
Not to mention unloading the cart and then bagging all the groceries takes a loooong time when you’re shopping for a family of five people with high metabolisms. And of course then you have to load it all into the car, take back the cart, and unload it all and put it away at home.
I know I’m making living in a suburb with a car, a house, and easy access to unlimited amounts of food seem like some kind of hardship. I don’t mean it that way. I’m grateful, I promise. It’s just that grocery shopping, which used to be a relaxing errand I actually looked forward to, has become much more tiring and time-consuming as our family has grown.
I can’t tell you how to survive summer with kids while maintaining your sanity, but I can offer a solitary tip for simply staying alive: try grocery pick up.
My friends have been singing the praises of Walmart grocery pickup and/or delivery, and I tried it on vacation and few other times under special circumstances (sickness, extreme weather). Now it has become a magical way of life. The kids are perfectly happy to be strapped into their car seats (read: no one to chase), listen to music (read: not fighting), and then wonderful people put groceries straight into my minivan. For FREE.
This has taken the number of people I drag into the store from 4 to 0. It has reduced the number of times I touch the groceries from 5 to 1. It takes less time to drive to Walmart than it does to bag my food at ALDI.
I was resistant at first to the idea because I didn’t want to pay more, I didn’t know if they would do a good job picking out the produce, I didn’t want to drive further, and I’m not all that crazy about Walmart in general. Overall, none of these have been a problem. And after trying other local grocery stores’ pick-up services, and Target’s, Walmart is by far the best.
How does it work? First you download the Walmart Grocery app, or create an account on your computer. Next, you search for items you want. The results are relevant, store brands come up alongside brand names (just be sure not to use trade names like Cheerios vs. oat cereal), and show you price per ounce for comparison.
You can add items to your cart with a single click, select a pick-up time (one-hour window) when you’re ready to check out, and you can continue to edit the order until about 6 hours before pick up. You do need to plan the pick-up about 6 hours in advance. You can share your location and say you’re on the way, or call when you arrive and park in the pick-up area. Within about 5 minutes the magical employee comes and delivers your groceries.
Things I love about it, other than the obvious convenience:
- Substitutions. If they don’t have the item you want, they will replace it with a bigger item, name brand item, or similar item. You have the choice to accept or reject each substitution. On my last order, I got 2x as much sliced cheese, 2x as many strawberries, and 50% bigger bottle of ranch dressing. You do not pay any more for substitutions.
- More products. I can get just about anything–school supplies, household items, diapers, toiletries, etc. It doesn’t cover anything in Walmart, but there are way more things that ALDI doesn’t carry, and it’s really nice to avoid extra store trips right now.
- Adjusting your total. You can see your total change with each item you add. This is nice because it’s impossible to keep a running tally at the grocery store, and more of a hassle to abandon items at the check-out. If you’re sticking to a budget, it’s great to be able to pare down your order based on what you really need. Which is related to…
- Fewer impulse purchases. While there is a small number of “suggested” items shown, it’s a lot harder to make impulse purchases when you have to generate the search ideas. It is a great way to stick to your list.
- I forget less because I can add to an order throughout the week, whenever I think of something I need. I don’t even make a list anymore, I just put it right in the grocery cart from the app. It also saves your old orders so you could re-order an entire order easily. It also suggests items you frequently purchase before check out, and allows you to favorite items.
- My husband can grocery shop from his phone. We all know the drill: “What do you want from the store, honey?” “I don’t know.” Fast forward 12 hours. “Why don’t we have any good snacks?” “I don’t know what you want!” We both have the app logged into the same account, so Neil can also add things he wants when he thinks of them.
- So easy! Compared to every other store pick-up app I have used, Walmart’s is by far the most user-friendly.
- Greater variety. I love, love, love ALDI. But after shopping there almost exclusively for years, it is nice to have more variety.
- Coupon codes. There are coupon codes for first delivery, first pick up, and other promos throughout the year.
What about the prices? Many of the store brand prices are similar to ALDI prices. However, the quality of some of the “Great Value” items is not good compared to ALDI, particularly dry/grain-based. The dairy items seem ok. The eggs are awful, but I’ve been farm fresh ones from a friend. I haven’t been buying a lot of fresh meat there because we had a freezer stash, and I’m going to start shopping at a local butcher’s.
Overall, I am paying a little more for some items, but for the short-term of the summer, it’s well worth the convenience. I also think the lack of impulse/ kid-driven purchases may be balancing that out. There are great ALDI items that I miss, but I will venture there with 1-2 kids on occasion to stock up on those.
Even if you don’t have 3 kids, I’d recommend trying grocery pick-up if you are short on time, don’t like shopping, are prone to impulse buys, or need to control your grocery spending. This is not a sponsored or affiliate post, I really just like Walmart grocery pick-up so much more than I expected and want to share the magic with others.
What do you like about grocery pick up? Or what hang-ups do you have about it?
As we consider whether to Love It or List It, we’re trying to make more room in our living room. It’s roughly 12′ x 13′. Add two couches, some baby toys, and three kids, and we’re feeling the squeeze. The room is on the top floor of our bi-level. Neil remodeled the kitchen and dining room, opening it up to the living room when we bought the house. This helped the layout a lot, but we needed to make more changes in order to love it.
We also recently decided to replace our living room, hallways, and entryway stairs carpet. When we moved in, those areas plus the bedrooms had a multi-color Berber. Though not beautiful, it was durable and fairly forgiving in terms of stains. Almost 10 years and 3 kids later, the stairs, hallway, and living room carpet were worn and dingy, despite having it professionally cleaned regularly. Underneath the living room rug was literally a different color of carpet.
We had never bought carpet and had no idea what we wanted. Every free Saturday morning we’d spend about 15 minutes pretending to choose carpet. After 5+ trips to Lowe’s over the course of 5 months, we made a decision. We chose a highly durable and cleanable, low-pile shag/Berber combo in “greige” with a good quality pad. In terms of cost, it was fairly middle of the road. For the carpet, pad, and tax, we paid $1500 (installation was included).
Considering our complete incompetency at choosing carpet, we did not shop around to compare prices. That would have taken another 3 years!
People also asked if we wanted to replace it while still having young children. I’m sure I will have moments of regret, like when the baby spit up (which she never does!) all over the carpet 2 days after installation. Oh, well. Part of the motivation for new carpet was giving her a cleaner surface for crawling. This carpet is also so much softer and now her knees aren’t red if she crawls without pants.
My kids do a lot of stupid things and are bound to stain the carpet. But I find grown-up guests spill as much as kids, simply because they are allowed to bring things that aren’t water onto the carpet!
In addition to new carpet, Neil cashed out some not-very-valuable credit card points and purchased a flat-screen TV. Previously we had an HD CRT that weighed about as much as an anchor. Despite it being “the height of technology in 2005” and having “more inputs that the new TV,” Neil gradually became ready to part ways with it, and moved it out of
Neil’s technology museum our basement to a friend’s house.
Our living room makeover ran us $1100 for carpet and $28 for the TV mount.
We been jettisoning large (and small) objects from our home as part of our attempts to Love It. I tend to think it’s working. Two VCRs, all the VHS tapes, lots of DVDs, CDs, and stacks and stacks of CD ROMs–can anyone say Microsoft Office 2003? Neil got rid of not one but two anchor-size HD CRT televisions and an equally over-sized and antiquated computer monitor. And accompanying cords from his prized collection All of this culminated in him spontaneously and voluntarily cleaning his desk–a true Fourth of July miracle. And yes, he is running for Husband of the Year.
I parted ways with the beautiful roll-top desk my grandma handed down to me. I never use it, and it’s way too big for a kid’s desk. I was thrilled to pass it to a friend who had always admired it. Gone is a persian rug, a couple bags of extremely outdated work clothes, an old projector screen, and a chicken coop we never used.
All surviving boy clothes are going to friends, as are baby things as our baby outgrows them. Some to friends, although much of our gear is junk. The poor babe probably doesn’t even know that rocking chairs are supposed to rock, or that exersaucers are supposed to have toys attached to them. Not that she cares a whit. Please note, getting baby gear at garage sales and then putting three kids through it is more stupid than frugal.
There is something exhilarating about decluttering, and I haven’t even been watching Marie Kondo. We can fall prey to reverse materialism, an inordinate fixation with minimalism or decluttering where you’re still focused on stuff. When it comes to possessions, we strive for pragmatism, keeping what seems to be of use now or in the near future. Clearing out clutter lately is improving the functionality of our home and we are Loving It for now. And should we ever decide to List It, we’ll have a little less to deal with.
Have you ever made your space more useful through decluttering or remodeling? Please share inspiration!
We are starting to wonder if we should buy a bigger house in a fancier neighborhood. I know, I know, it’s very not-pretending-to-be-poor. It’s true! But I’m coming to you with our real-life question, and I’d love your honest advice: should we love it or list it? True to the premise of the HGTV show, one of us is more inclined to love it than the other, though thankfully it’s not a point of real contention.
First, what could make us love it?
Better use of space: Our house is definitely feeling smaller now that we have a third kid. Our house was listed at 1268 square feet, but it is somewhat bigger than that. It’s a bi-level and the upstairs is about 1000 sq. ft. Half of the basement is fully finished and the other half is partially finished.
Bi-levels have some functional perks, but our entryway is tiny and bracketed by stairs. We can’t all come in the door and take our shoes off at the same time. Seeing guests out the door is awkward. We can’t keep our coats by the door because there is no room to get ready down there, let alone with a baby and stairs every which way. And if we each have one or two pairs of shoes down they take up half the space.
The other drawback to bi-levels is that when you have stairs in the middle of the house, it really chops up the rooms. So while we do have quite a bit of space, we don’t have any large spaces. And half that space is in the basement, which doesn’t help with the baby stuff that is taking over our living room.
I don’t want to have an unrealistic expectation of what our living space needs to be. I know many people live in much smaller spaces with many more people. Neil’s grandparents raised five kids in a small bungalow, living in that house for 70 years and never “upgrading.” It’s helpful to remember that it’s totally doable, but it’s hard to directly compare to a different era. We just want to keep things in perspective as we decide what makes sense for our family, in our time and place.
Neighborhood: We don’t live in a bad neighborhood, but just a couple houses past us in one direction the neighborhood transitions into rentals. While we are all about renting when it makes sense, there are several factors that make it more difficult to build community in this mostly-rental neighborhood. Additionally, many of our beloved neighbors have moved/are moving, especially ones with kids and grandkids around the same ages as our kids. There are still nice people and kids around, including one of our son’s best friends, but most of our friends and our kids’ friends live in a different neighborhood nearby.
So, the reasons we would considering moving are: more space/different layout, and wanting to be able to build more community, especially for our kids.
What could we/are we doing to love it?
Open concept: Before we moved in, Neil renovated the kitchen and dining room, taking down several walls that partitioned it and opening it up to the living room. We are working on giving away some larger furniture, which is opening it up about as much as possible. We also got new carpet in the living room, hallway, and stairs as the old stuff was very worn. The new carpet is not only cleaner and looks more updated, it’s so much softer. I swear the baby started crawling on her knees more as soon as we got it!
While I abhor the entry way and it’s really one of the worst parts of the house, it would be hard to change. Expanding the entry way would require bumping out the entire front of the house, which would be expensive, involved, and in my opinion, ugly.
We continue to try to figure out better ways to use our basement space, which is partitioned into four rooms–a family room with a fireplace, a possible bedroom/office, the under-heated office/hobby room, and semi-finished mud room which leads to the laundry room. But honestly I’m drawing a blank on how to improve the downstairs beyond getting rid of stuff we’re storing down there that we don’t use.
We can’t change our neighborhood, but we can be grateful for the neighbors we do know. We are also only a mile from the nearby neighborhood where so many friends live. So seeing people requires a little more planning and a short car trip, as we have to cross a busy road without traffic lights. We continue to try to make friends by taking cookies to new neighbors and trying to make play dates with kids from the bus stop.
Our wish list for a newer house would include a larger entryway, larger living room, a fourth bedroom, and the kids being able to walk to more of their friends’ houses.
After profits from the sale of our house, buying the size/condition/layout of house we’d consider in this neighborhood would cost around $800 more per month than we’re currently paying for a 15 year mortgage. While we can afford this, it’s a big “Would You Rather?” between that and other options like retiring earlier. And of course, moving is expensive. So if furnishing and maintaining a larger house.
Is it really worth $800 a month for a little bigger living area, when we just opened up ours? And for a better neighborhood and closer proximity to more friends, when we already live so close? I can’t decide! I’ve experience how amazing it is to have the spontaneous play of lots of friends up and down the street, and I really miss that. Scheduling play dates is more time consuming and it just happens less often. Lastly, our home will appreciate more in the fancier neighborhood. So what we put into it, we will likely get out of it one day when we downsize. But that’s a long way off, not 100% guaranteed, and not our primary consideration right now.
So what do you think? Should we love it or list it? Any brainstorms for loving it?
I just survived Maycember, the hectic end of school year schedule that rivals only the craziness of the holidays. Although our kids’ school calendars aren’t full of banquets and concerts just yet, this May included a weekend retreat, a family wedding, a family graduation, and a church camping trip with Neil teaching.
May’s craziness saw me valuing convenience like never before. I’m done making homemade everything and hang-drying every single sock for a while. I need fast, low-effort frugality.
So, what are the easiest, most efficient ways to save money? Or, what does it look like to stay frugal when your schedule feels frantic?
First and foremost is keeping your top 3 expenses–housing, transportation, and food–under control. Once you set yourself up to save in these areas, it’s actually pretty easy to maintain a frugal lifestyle.
Most people’s number one expense is housing. The best way to keep housing cost reasonable is to buy only what you can afford, and resist the urge to upsize unneccessarily. Conventional advice states your monthly mortgage or rent should not exceed 25% of your monthly income.
As your income increases it can be tempting to look for a bigger, better place. As our family has grown we have very much felt this draw, and perhaps someday we will need or want a different home. There are reasons we’d buy a bigger place, which I’ll discuss in a future post. But not buying at the top of what we could possibly afford, and not upgrading as soon as possible, has saved us a lot of money.
If you’re looking for a home, stick to that 25% monthly income budget for your mortgage payment. If your current place feels small, is there something you can do to rearrange? Declutter? Remodel? You can do a lot for $10,000-$20,000. Which is about what you’d probably spend just in selling your home and moving costs.
If you’re feeling stretched by your rent or mortgage, consider alternatives. Could you live with a friend or relative for a year to save up money? Could you rent a room of your house to offset mortgage costs? If you’re paying PMI, can you cut back on spending or side hustle in order to put more money toward your principle? And if you’re truly in over your head, could you consider moving to a less expensive home? Easier said than done, I’m sure, but it can yield loads of financial relief.
For more on housing, check out these articles. We like the advice of putting 20% down and choosing a 15 year mortgage if possible, for the sake of financial efficiency. But there’s more than one way to do a death pledge.
- Who Wants a Death Pledge?
- So You Want to Buy a House?
- Why Not Rent?
- Are You Ready to Buy a House? The Non-Financial Checklist
- Mortgage Myths
Takeaway: keep housing costs reasonable, around 25% of your income.
The second biggest cost for most people is transportation. If you live in the suburbs like us, it’s almost essential to own a vehicle or two. (If you’re making life work without one, kudos to you!) The easiest way to save on vehicle ownership is to purchase a used car in cash. We all know new cars depreciate immediately, so it makes sense to buy something at least a few years old.
If you’re in the new car camp and can’t be swayed, be the person who drives it for 15-20 years. That’s not a bad approach, but it’s a straight and narrow path not many end up following. Rather than keeping a car payment, keep a car fund. We always have what we’d need to purchase a replacement vehicle in savings. When we do buy a car, we start replenishing that fund ASAP. Avoiding a car payment means saving thousands of dollars in interest. For more on saving on cars, refer to:
- How I Spent Less Than $8k on Cars in 17 Years of Commuting
- Ahh! We Bought a Minivan
- We Bought a Car for $200
- Nothing Parties Like a Rental (Car)
- Point A to Point B
Takeaway: Buy used cars, in cash. If you buy new or take a loan, drive it for as long as possible.
While housing and transportation costs can be fairly set-and-forget, food costs are more variable and can be harder to control. We all need to eat, but the options for getting sustenance are endless. The simplest, easiest way to save money on food is to eat home-cooked meals. And unfortunately, this does require some effort. But fear not, there are simple changes that can make a big dent in your food spending.
I’d encourage everyone to track their food spending. Especially restaurants, since those bad boys can really add up, even if they’re just little trips that don’t feel extravagant. Shopping at a discount grocery store can also make a big difference. Not only are the prices lower, there are often just fewer options to spend your money on. Lately I’ve also been liking grocery pick up because it reduces impulse spending and allows you to see your total and tweak your order before you check out. Well, mostly I like it can so I can be lazy. But it’s good for those other reasons too! For more info, check out the following on food savings:
- Cut Your Grocery Bill in Half
- Cut Your Grocery Bill in Half, Part 2
- Going Out Without Going Broke
- Beyond Rice and Beans: Budget Dinners that Aren’t Boring
- Say Good-bye to Meatless Mondays
- 20 Frugal Food Hacks
- Not Your Mom’s Meal Planning
Home cooking doesn’t have to look like preparing a feast from Bon Appetit recipes. Ask friends and family for their go-to easy recipes. Carve out an hour to meal plan and grocery shop. And get the other members of your household to help out, whether it’s with putting away groceries, doing the dishes, offering meal ideas, packing lunches, and of course, help cooking. My 5-year-old just shaved her first cucumber and found it fun!
Takeaway: Cook at home. Track food spending, especially restaurants. Shop discount grocery stores. And ask for help!
If you can control spending on housing, transportation, and food, you needn’t devote too much time and effort to being frugal. Naturally, you’ll want to watch out for your weaknesses when it comes to spending. Now back to that busy schedule…
Have you ever had one of the big 3 expenses get out of control? How are you recovering? How do you save money in the midst of a hectic schedule?
Last year I wrote about how as a society we seem to be “Conveniencing Ourselves to Death” with everything from Keurigs to brand-new cars. My call was not to forsake all convenience, but to choose to consciously draw a line on what we are willing to pay (financially and otherwise) for convenience.
My line has moved.
I recently discovered several amazing modern conveniences: yogurt cups, frozen pizzas, the electric clothes dryer, and Walmart grocery pick up.
There was a day when I marveled at how exorbitantly expensive and eco-unfriendly things like yogurt cups and using the dryer were. I’d make my own yogurt for the cost of milk, or at least buy the big container and scoop it into portions. Now I can’t stand the thought of more cooking or dishes, and we are living the high life shelling out for yogurt cups.
There was also a time when I couldn’t handle the thought paying anything higher than ALDI prices. Now I break out in a sweat of both exertion and embarrassment as I spend what feels like an eternity clumsily trying to speed-bag a cart brimming with food, with 2+ kids in tow. Walmart, I will give you all my money if you put those yogurt cups and frozen pizzas straight into my mini-van, thank you very much! (Although I still go to ALDI to stock up on certain favorites.)
And forget pretending to be warm. We upped the thermostat to 67 degrees this winter and I didn’t have to layer myself in wool and long-underwear and still feel frigid all winter.
Not to mention we went from spending nothing on childcare for the first four years of parenting, to paying a babysitter weekly during our home church, and sometimes for dates as well.
Speaking of dates? I produce 3 meals a day, nearly every single day, for 5 people. That’s over 400 meals a month. Someone please take me out to a nice dinner once a month; I need a break! A break that’s better than frozen pizza!
Recently, when my sister needed a ride from the airport at 5 am on my other sister’s wedding day, I paypaled her for an Uber. Because I am at the point in my life where I will pay for sleep.
All this to say, the value of convenience has gone way up for me in the wake of having three kids, plus a lot else going on. While I tried finding my way back to frugal post-baby, what I really found was the value of my time and energy. I’m too busy and tired to be bagging countless pounds of groceries and hanging 5 loads of laundry per week.
I doubt the minutiae of my laundry and cooking life is of much interest to you, but here’s the takeaway: what frugal looks like depends on the season of life you’re in. And of course, how frugal you need to be.
This also means that it doesn’t make sense to compare yourself to the “extreme frugality” accounts you might read about. Frugality is not a competition. Don’t feel badly if you can’t keep up with the Frugals. That said, it’s still great to get ideas, motivation, and inspiration from one another. And if there’s no or little cost upfront, it usually doesn’t hurt to try out a thrifty strategy to see if it’s worth your while.
Lest you think we’ve completely abandoned “pretending,” tune in next week for my thoughts on the most bang-for-your-buck ways to stay frugal when life is busy!
How have your expenses changed over time? What is your favorite convenience item or service?
I don’t usually post stuff like this, but I just have to bargain brag about my recent thrift store haul. Because who doesn’t like to hear the story of a good deal? #poppin’tags
As spring finally made its way to the Great Lakes, I realized I couldn’t get dressed. I had mix-matched thrift store stuff and hand-me-downs that just couldn’t be worn together. Sure, I had a few go-to basics, but I was sick of wearing the same beige fleece every day. And I’m pretty sure my husband was, too. (Though he never said it and he wears a beige fleece all the time too!)
Whenever I did try to “dress cute” I ended up looking like I was going to church. (And we don’t even “go to church” or dress up for our Bible studies.) I’m not into trendy looks and have declaimed the Futility of Fashion here. I’ve had some requests for writing about capsule wardrobes as a frugality approach, but I am not the person you want to be taking fashion advice from. But there comes a time when I want to look like I’m from this decade and 2019 seemed like a good year to catch up.
In fact, I spent my childhood purposely trying to dress a different decade or even century. There were the prairie dresses (which apparently made a couture comeback over the winter), the plaid skirts, and the saddle shoes. I was regularly asked if I was Amish or Catholic, despite being a public-school-going Protestant.
Fast forward twenty years and I just want to look normal. But the nerd is baked in so hard I always come up with “teacher” or “Easter church-goer” when getting dressed. So for inspiration I googled what grown ups, particularly soccer moms, are supposed to wear.
Of course there’s a lot of ridiculousness out there, but through a little perusing I came up with a shopping list of items I thought would allow me to make many more outfits with my existing wardrobe. My list was: denim jacket, zip-down hoodie (how did I not own one of these!?!), open front flowy cardigan, twill utility jacket, and cute tee (in order of priority). I also wanted a cap since I have sun-sensitive skin and eyes. While not looking like a freak wearing my beach hat all over my not-beach town.
I knew the thrift store was just the place for these items. I also know my tendency to obsess about getting a certain thing once I get it in my mind. And I didn’t want clothes of all things to consume me. So I did something I’d never done before. I prayed before I went in the thrift store. I earnestly prayed that I could find some of the things I was looking for quickly, but also that I wouldn’t be consumed with thinking about clothing.
In one hour, while shopping a large thrift with a baby, I found every single thing on my list for a grand total of $28. In addition to what I was looking for, as I walked past the shoes, I found a great pair of high quality “mom” sandals, and a nice pair of “dressy” nude flip flops. Both very useful additions to my shoe collection.
Here’s a pic of my haul:
Details: Gap cardigan $4; Gap hoodie $5; Old Navy utility jacket $3; J. Crew denim jacket $9; Merrell sandals $4; Bebe flip flops $3; neutral cap $1.50. Plus a cute baby hand! Not pictured: cute tee $2, which I somehow already lost while on a retreat. (These are the prices before using a $5 off coupon.)
I wore the denim jacket on a date last night and it was a hit with the hubby. Weird because I’ve never worn one! I guess anything is better than a beige fleece. Note: I bought his jacket as his Christmas gift 16 years ago!
My best advice for thrifting is to find a good thrift shop, learn how their discounts or coupons work, and go with a list. It’s too overwhelming to look for a lot of different categories, but when I’m looking for a particular item I can usually find it. Also, know what categories are good to find at the thrift store, and what is better to go retail. I don’t have good luck with jeans there, and I prefer to buy athletic shoes new or like-new so they’ll last longer. Tees can also be hard to sift through since you can’t tell from the side whether graphics are on the front.
I’ll never be fashionable, but I feel like I can now put together “normal” enough looking outfits without much thought. I’ve had some great thrift store finds over the years but the efficiency and success of snagging so many items I wanted in such a short time, and for such great prices, was unprecedented. The Lord provides.
Now I’m dying to hear about your best thrift store finds, clothes or otherwise. And do any ladies have some frugal fashion tips for the rest of us? Do tell!
Last month we traveled to Florida and camped for a week. People I mentioned this to IRL were like “Tent camping?” Yes. “Do you drive there?” Yes. It’s a little crazy, but it was a beach vacation for a family of 5 during a peak time (spring break) and it came in at $1300. That’s more than we’ve ever spent, and an astonishing amount to spend on camping, I’ll admit. But that includes 10 days of minivan rental, 7 days of camp site fees, and all of our food, gas, camp supplies, and outings during the trip. We enjoyed outings like a daddy-daughter date; a boys’ overnight backpacking trip; a day trip to a teaching zoo; a bike parade; guys night out; and ladies night out. And as always, the beach, Bojangles, and ice cream.
Our baby absolutely loved camping! I think she took better naps in the tent than at home. She liked the beach, the swing on the playground, watching all the big kids, and just being outside. We definitely had to make more stops on the road trip and this slowed us down but overall she was pretty happy in the car. We called it one hour from our destination because she was way overtired and crying, and we would have to set up camp in the dark, and then get three kids to bed. I’m so glad we stopped. And so glad we always have Marriott points, accumulated from years of work travel, to use for free stays.
The big kids were so excited to play with their friends all day. So much that they were a little under-parented the first couple days. It was all we could do to shove sunscreen, water, and a sandwich at them in passing. Our son and his friends took up residence in the little dell next to the bathrooms, providing a convenient opportunity to check in every couple hours. They were swinging from vines, reading Bible stories, and who knows what else.
One highlight of the trip was that Neil took our son on his first overnight backpacking trip. Neil’s brother went, too. For the past 6 or so years, Neil has rounded up a group of friends to backpack with during one night of our trip. Someone dubbed this “campception”—a camping trip within a camping trip. He’s always wanted to take our son, and at the ripe age of 7, he was deemed old enough. This year, Neil calmly informed me, bear bags are now required for campers in the national forest where they were going. While I prayed that I wouldn’t lose three family members all at once, the boys seemed unfazed by the threat of bears. Neil promised to be careful and not leave Swedish fish in his pocket this year.
The only complication was that they needed a vehicle to get there. Usually we unload all the stuff from our car into our tent and I hitch rides. This year that felt completely overwhelming, considering the volume of stuff in both the car and the tent. And his brother’s wife had plans to visit a friend that night so she needed their rental car. They decided to rent a car, so she dropped them off at the rental car place using their rental. Rentception for campception!
If you’ve ever road-tripped with kids, you know that the last half hour is meltdown city, no matter how long or short of a trip. This was certainly true on our way home. We stopped half an hour from home to change her diaper at a gas station. She was completely beside herself that we put her back in the car seat. Out of desperation, I handed her a snack-size bag of Doritos, a “toy” she enjoyed one day during vacation. I kept looking back to make sure the bag was still sealed. Then all of a sudden I had a weird noise followed by crying. She’d burst the bag of nacho Doritos and, while she didn’t have any in her mouth, she had some of the powder on her chin and maybe got some on her tongue. She was covered in Doritos crumbs and wouldn’t stop crying even after I gave her water. My older daughter was watching the iPad in the seat next to her and I grabbed it and handed it to the baby in a frenzied attempt to calm her. She did settle down but would not give up the iPad. So the baby was watching TV while covered in Doritos. A proud parenting moment.
We made it home, wiped the Doritos out of the car seat, and I hit a new personal record for number of laundry loads in the two weeks that followed. And as usual we hit the ground running with more projects, which I’ll share soon in our Spring Burbstead update.
Do you have any upcoming travel planned? What are your tips and tricks (or fails) from road tripping?
A trending kids’ pastime is asking “Would you rather?” questions. “Would you rather meet Yoda or Harry Potter?” “Would you rather be able to fly or be invisible?” etc. I’m pretty terrible at whimsy so these might be sub-par examples, but you get the drift.
It strikes me that personal finance is like one big game of would you rather. Would you rather buy lunch out or invest the $1750 per year? Would you rather live in a bigger house or retire earlier? Would you rather by a new car or travel more?
Of course, this is severely over-simplified. The trade-off in each case represents many would-you-rathers. Maybe it’s something more like: Would you rather live in a bigger house, or have a newer car, or retire earlier, or go out to eat every day, or buy new phones or clothes or whatever you’re into, or rack up the debt….the possibilities are almost endless. And the pros and cons for each point may also carry complexity.
But when you actually make a financial decision, the alternatives you’re considering is often fairly finite in the moment. We’re all constantly deciding between spending, saving, and giving. Those are the three main functions of money, and it helps to think in terms of trade-offs between them.
Like the Would You Rather game, there’s often not one right way to do things. While over-spending, consumer debt, and becoming greedy are destructive, many choices boil to preference and priorities. Would you rather buy the bigger home or retire earlier? That’s largely a matter of preference and/or values. And for us, seeking God’s wisdom in big decisions is important.
One problem with Would You Rather when it comes to personal finance is when we can’t see the third option. We easily become blind to one of the three functions of money and fail to consider a whole category. It’s not would you rather A or B, but would you rather A, B, or C?
It’s a constant balancing act, choosing how much of our money to give, save and spend. And there’s no universal formula for it. But if your financial plan is all but missing one of these, or is heavily weighted toward one, you might not be seeing all the options.
It would be exhausting (and impossible) to consider all the possibilities, the would-you-rathers, with each financial choice we make. At the same time, we’ll miss out if we don’t see the options. Because when you don’t see the alternative, you don’t feel like you’re making a choice at all. You think you’re doing what you have to do. Sometimes there’s only one good choice—like paying the electric bill. And sadly there are times when people run out of good options. But for all those gray areas that we encounter daily, let’s try to open our eyes to the trade-offs, the balancing act between spending, saving, and giving.
By balance, I don’t mean to suggest we’re going to get it “right.” But hopefully by thoughtful consideration, we can come to an arrangement that we’re happy with. Weighing these three areas is a helpful way to talk about money if you’re married, and a great lesson in trade-offs for kids.
Just make sure to start it out with “Would you rather…”
What Would You Rather are you considering?
Camping is one of the best ways to vacation for less. Campsites are very affordable, even in beautiful, expensive-to-vacation areas like beach towns. A campsite offers a true room with a view, more space than a hotel room, and lots of fun, free or cheap activities for families right within the camp ground.
Of course there are other ways to vacation cheaply, like travel hacking. And we do some of that. But camping is good for the soul. And it’s especially good for kids.
There is a bit of a learning curve to camping. Here are the tips and tricks I’ve picked up over 16 years of tenting it.
- Grocery pickup: This year, I’m going to do something incredibly un-rugged, and I couldn’t be more stoked about it. I’m doing Walmart grocery pick up for my shopping while on vacation. I think this is a great hack for many travel scenarios. Pluses include: not getting overwhelmed, forgetting a bunch of stuff, and also making unnecessary impulse purchases while trying to shop with three kids and a husband. We’ll save time, and the last thing the kids want to do is go grocery shopping the first day of vacation. While I’m not a huge Walmart fan in general, order pickup is great for these scenarios, and it’s convenient that I can make the order ahead of time, modify it until the night before, and get things like diapers and camp supplies as well.
- Coffee: if you think I’m overzealous about camping, don’t get me started on coffee! I need it so bad, especially while sleeping in a tent with three children! There are lots of ways to make coffee while camping, but the easier, cheapest, and least breakable option for me is this $7 pour-over product. Walmart, give me some of those #2 filters while you’re at it. If you drink it by the pot, go for a percolator (non-electric) or inexpensive coffee maker (for electric sites).
- Glamping: on some trips, we have electricity. And let me tell you, we make good use of it. For these trips, we bring a small, old “hot pot” a.k.a. a simple electric kettle. We use this for all our water boiling needs–for tea, coffee (see above), oatmeal, ramen, and even for heating the baby’s bath water. And it significantly cuts down the amount of propane we use on our camp stove.
- Don’t unpack: We store a camping box or two in our garage, and they’re always stocked with our mobile kitchen, paper products, propane, and other necessities for camping. I also leave little things like a hat, quarters, a deck of cards, a laundry line, a rain poncho, hand warmers, and toilet paper in our duffel bag all year young. These could come in handy on just about any trip so why unpack them?
- Beach supplies: the beach is so much more fun when you’re well prepared. We’ve always brought a beach blanket (just an old ugly comforter that’s handy in our car all year for emergencies, picnics, and beach days). Since having kids, we’ve added this nifty beach umbrella to our stash and it is sooo worth it. It’s great to have a shady place to retreat–especially for pale folk like me and the kids. We also bring a puddle jumper, a basket of cheap beach toys, and a good mini metal shovel for epic sand digging. Lastly, I keep a swim bag with towels, swim suits, sunscreen, and goggles packed all year. It makes getting out the door (or tent) to swim so much easier.
- Meal swap: we often camp with friends, and usually team up with 2-3 other families to take turns making meals. This obviously reserves more vacation time for vacationing rather than cooking, without having to go out to eat. But it’s also great because it streamlines grocery shopping. We don’t need to buy a ton of different ingredients for different meals, only to end up throwing away extras at the end of the week. This high chair is great for trips because it folds up small and fits on any table.
- Packing list: I have a spreadsheet listing all the stuff we need to camp for a week, including grocery items and meal ideas. Though I tweak it from year to year depending on the kids’ ages and needs, it saves time not to start from scratch on my packing list each year.
- Road trip ideas: we download audio books, music, and movies for the kids ahead of time via library apps like Libby and Hoopla, and streaming services like Netflix and Amazon Prime. We also save by packing some snacks and sandwich stuff to augment the fast food stops (because we have to stop at Bojangles on our way south).
- Travel hack hotel stops: on our way back we stop at a hotel that we book using hotel points rewards. You can accumulate these by using credit cards, or if you stay at hotels frequently for work and sign up for a rewards program with a particular chain.
- Excursions: once a year we camp in Florida, and some friends have taken the opportunity to do a less-expensive, one-day Disney visit. It’s not the same thing as an extended stay inside the park, but it scratches the Disney itch while saving massively on accommodations. We have yet to take the Disney plunge, but Neil took our son to Kennedy Space Center last year, and there are plenty of other great tourist options within driving distance.
I hope at least one of these ideas helps you on your next camping trip! Wish us luck on our first trip with three kids, and please share your tips and tricks below!